Hi,

Below you will find an anonymized excerpt from a coaching session followed by a few reflection questions to consider. 

Coachee: I don’t know what I want to talk about today. I usually know what I want to talk about. But I’m learning a lot, and I’m doing what I want to do.

David: [Silently nodding]

Coachee: Well there’s this one thing. There are three of us that have the same senior title. The other two have so much more experience in the role. I’m not worried about my role at all. I’m confident in what I bring. I just want to be at a place where I can have and share opinions.

David: Mhmm

Coachee: But I don’t have opinions yet. I’m new, and the leaders know that. They want me to learn enough to have opinions. Maybe there’s no problem. I don’t know. What do you think?

• If you were listening to your friend say what the coachee is saying, what would you do or say next?

• How is the coachee served by the coach's silence? What is sacrificed with the coach's silence?

• What is your main takeaway?

Part of holding someone’s agenda - an important skill in coaching and beyond - is giving them space to clarify their thoughts and feelings. And if they ask for help, remember to keep holding their agenda no matter whether you ask a question, validate, or give advice. There’s little worse than feeling mentally and emotionally hijacked in the midst of a thought that isn’t fully formed.

With Gratitude,

David